couples and family therapy with me
With extensive experience in therapy with couples and families, I found it meaningful and gratifying to offer counselling in this area. I can often - but not always - help you find a way back to each other. We can always together understand the mechanisms behind the frictions and communication problems within the framework of effective couples' and family therapy. We start by meeting twice to see how we can work together. During these two introductory sessions you are free to talk about the frictions and strengths that exist in your relationships. I also ask questions about your family structure/members, the dynamic of your relationship including power structures, physical or psychic illness, about your professional situation, the relationship between children and adults and regarding your previous emotional/attachment experience.
common areas of conflict that I encounter in couples and family therapy
For example, there may be constant misunderstandings and conflicts about the same things. That you get stuck in the same destructive patterns. Or there may be a general lack of trust and closeness as a basis in your relationships. Have you increasingly started to live parallel lives, that you do not spend enough quality time together as a family. Do you even - as a couple - consider going your separate ways? Everyday life, stress, all the time spent on work may have challenged the relationships for too long, not given them enough time and focus. Getting help might ultimately be the only way to move forward. Together, we examine what is underneath all the hassle of everyday life and how insighs and openess can lead to increased trust and closeness.
As for a love relation, it may even be that the relationship cannot continue, that you have too long chosen the seemingly easiest, to just stay in a bad relationship. Maybe for the sake of the children. Together we can examine this in a cautious way.
conflicts are most often about communication problems
Sooner or later, problems and conflicts usually creep into a relationship. The vast majority of smaller or even larger ones are often solved on your own. When the various frictions accumulate over time or in big crisis, you may need to seek help. This can be about a conflictuous divorce, problems with too much work, excessive use of alcohol. Getting a third perspective on the relationship, a professional who sees and understands but who is not entangled in emotions can be necessary and relieving. You often think that you understand and know your partner well and therefore read and interpret correctly. You may not have paid enough attention to the fact that you to some part misunderstand each other or even that there are serious communication problems. All relationships need time and patience, which is not always the case. A new humility might be needed where you realize that it is easy to misunderstand even the persons closest to you in this world. And learn more about the situations where these misinterpretations occur.
Crises in relationships can also be an opportunity to better understand your needs, personalities, and different expectations within couple and family. What do you genuinely long for in an intimate relationship or what do yoj need from your family life? To talk about these sensitive topics in a constructive and safe way, couples and and family therapy can be of great help.
it is important that emotions are expressed
The therapy begins with two introductory sessions where we map out what your dynamics look like and make a survey of different developmental areas for your relationsship and family dynamics. We lay a foundation for our work together that is characterized by trust and respect. When this work alliance exists after some sessions, you can better relax and dare to open. For a change to take place, it is always crucial that emotions are displayed and expressed in the room. That all persons in the therapy equally feel they have a space to express themselves. For painful and inaccessible affects to be formulated, it is of course crucial whether the atmosphere feels safe and permissive. As a couple's and family therapist, my client is always your relationships. I do not support either of you or have judgemental opinions regarding your actions. Unless it is about violence and abuse, which is under no circumstances legitimate. In such case, patient and extra time are especially important in the treatment as these actions need to be interpreted and understood to be handled and treated.
I use effective and holistic methods such as the Imago method (an eclectic theory), IFS (internal family systems) and classic systemic family theory as basis for my way of working. The Imago method focuses on "rebuilding the bridge of emotional intimacy and understanding" that have often been weakened or lost. It is important to identify individual deep-seated wounds and deficiencies as well as the drive and wish to heal within the relationships. Based on this we do various communication practices and role play (if desired). IFS (internal family systems) means that we as humans consist of different functions but that an underlying Self is the part that is most genuine and this needs to be given power and focus and made visible in family and couples therapy to be able to interact better with the partner's Self. Defenses no longer constructive have to be identified. Classical systems theory believes that a couple or a family is a self-regulating and flexible system where the different parts affect each other. There are different functions in the couple relationship/family and the parties unknowingly take on different roles (more destructive or constructive).
All therapy take place in a warm and professional environment. My full attention and absolute duty of confidentiality is of course guaranteed.